I had one of those days yesterday where everything just seemed to be going wrong. I was miserable — miserable, I tell ya — and working my way into such a state that the lack of a decent help section in our new webmail application nearly sent me into a breakdown-level tizzy. Today, on the other hand, was a definite improvement.

For one thing, it was Lucy’s last day of school, so we had planned an afternoon of hanging together. Based on promises made throughout last week, I took her to lunch, then to ice cream, and then to Target. At the last of those spots, I very deliberately let her literally walk through every aisle as she tried to decide what to spend her first $14 worth of allowance on. (A slip and slide, in case you were wondering, plus a Hello Kitty puzzle.) Then we went to the library, and then came home, made popcorn, and watched a movie. It was pretty awesome to see that the things she wanted to do on her day off were almost exactly the things I wanted to do. The bonus of it all was that, rather than being angry that we are sending her to Y camp for the rest of the week, she actually seemed quite excited. So, yay — no guilt! That’s quite nice, let me tell you.

The second part of the turnaround was that she got her report card and her reading level, which I had no doubt would be at above her actual grade level, indicates she’s where they want people to be at the end of fifth grade. Is that not awesome? I am so incredibly proud of her.

The day, though, did make me think about what I want to be doing with my life. (That and the whole, we’re-doomed-since-global-warming-is-bringing-the-world-to-the-end-so-decide-what-you-want-your-last-days-to-be-like thing, of course.) Which was where I was mentally when, lo and behold, an email came across my desk that had a job that can be done entirely remotely for a company that I think is pretty cool. For the last hour, I’ve been trying to figure out whether to actually send the cover letter that I wrote. It’s not just a lifestyle thing. I feel like the last several months have burned me out in a way that this job hasn’t before. I’d like to think that these few days off will help; the last few didn’t, though, so I’m not overly hopeful.

But is getting a new job the answer? I’m not really sure it is. I’m not sure I want to learn new ropes and meet new people. Oh, I’m sure they’re all pretty great — in fact, I spent the better part of this evening reading through blogs and twitter postings and various websites that gave me a pretty good sense of what the supervisor for this position is like. She seems pretty awesome and yet the coolness factor — that I do not in any way share — is almost tiring. It makes me feel, well, old. Who are all these 2.0 people, and can I possibly keep up with them? Or actually, do I want to invest the energy in keeping up with them. I don’t know. I just don’t know.

Not that I’m assuming that I’d even get anything beyond a cursory ‘thanks for your email,’ if even that. But if I did…

Anyway, I did write the cover letter. I sent it to myself, just to do something; I guess I’ll have to see what the morning brings.

Of course, I didn’t invest any time in doing what I had intended to be doing tonight, which was finish the frickin’ chapter I’m working on. I’ve got a whole line done — yep, sentence #1. I even have a sense of what sentences #2 and 3 will be. I just can’t actually bring myself to write them. I have a feeling that this is some major psychological block going on… And that’s about as much as I want to think about it for now.

Sigh. Now it’s past midnight and I’m tired. I was even planning on trying to get more than 6 hours of sleep tonight. It truly annoys me to go to bed, though. It’s like I’m giving up on the day. Like some big failure. Yes, I realize this makes very little sense, and yet that’s how it is.

And on that note…

I’m feeling talky today, so be forewarned: there may be a lot going on here today, and it may not make a lot of sense. Depending on how it all goes, I may just post one entry or I may post a bunch. Let’s get crazy!

Some Random TV Thoughts

Zach? Really? I haven’t even watched it yet, and it pisses me off.

R.I.P. Shark, Back to You, Women’s Murder Club, Moonlight
I truly don’t understand how TV execs think. Didn’t Shark used to be on top? Not that it’s the best show ever, but I don’t think it’s bad. It feels like it was all over the place schedule wise this season, then with the writer’s strike, it was gone for even longer, it seemed, than others. And I just read that it’s not coming back. That irritates me. I’m also annoyed that Women’s Murder Club didn’t get a better chance. Again, not like it was Emmy-worthy; at the same time, it seemed that with a little more time, it could have gone from mediocre to good. With the built in audience from the books, I would think that it wouldn’t have taken much more work to get the ratings up. Thanks, CBS, for all your nurturing.

Back to You and Moonlight I can understand a little more — one never seemed to find its audience and the other was probably unlikely to (at least by regular network standards), although I personally think that these, too, should be coming back.

On the Other Hand…
I am grateful that some other quirky shows — Reaper and Chuck, for example — are making it back, as is How I Met Your Mother. Oh, and The Unit and The Adventures of New Christine. I was wondering what happened to The Unit — I don’t think I’ve been able to see it at all this season — but I do really like it (is anyone surprised?), and I’m glad it’s coming back. I’m also pretty happy about how some of these shows will be mid-season shows, as opposed to Fall. Thanks to the DVR (LACK OF) storage capacity, it’s kind of hard to keep up. With new shows coming in the summer (yay, Burn Notice, Monk, Psych, The Closer, Saving Grace, Army Wives!), the Fall lineup, then the mid-season stuff (including a new season of Law & Order, which, if you gave up on it is definitely worth a new look these days), well, there’s a lot of good TV watching to be had. (And, um, that’s before you even take into account my new reality tendencies (Project Runway, Top Chef, American Idol and Dancing With the Stars [gulp, I have succumbed], Dance Wars, America’s Best Dance Crew, and, although I haven’t watched it yet, I’m expecting to have a new favorite in So You Think You Can Dance).

Jane Doe
Thank you, Hallmark channel, for bringing me back to the 80s. With Joe Penny and Lea Thompson as the main characters, and that Perry Mason guy, too (sorry, Perry Mason guy, I’ll go to IMDB and get your name — William Moses), it’s a major flashback. And in the episode I’m watching now, Erin Gray is actually a guest star! The faces are definitely 30 years older, but still, nice to see for the most part.

It’s not just the faces bringing me back, it’s the style. This is definitely old-school. The writing, the acting, the directing — there’s a reason this is on the Hallmark channel. Put this up against, say, The Closer, and… Ouch. Seriously. I mean — “It seems as though he was an unwitting accomplice to whoever is behind these murders”? Picture Lea Thompson saying that with an ‘I have to be a serious, weighty secret-agent-slash-mom so I will make sure my eyes and expression convey serious, weighty secret-agent-slash-mom thoughts’ way of talking, while the director is thinking ‘she must use many useless and distracting hand gestures while standing with feet wide apart and head cocked to the side in order to convey the serious, weighty secret-agent-slash-mom dialogue that we are giving her.’

Well, you get the idea.

And it’s not so good to have Joe Penny as her straight man, since he’s actually good. Erin Gray wasn’t so bad, either. The worst part? I don’t think Lea Thompson is an awful actress. Back to the Future proves that. It also proves, however, how important writing and directing are. (Yes, that’s a shout-out to you, Jess. 🙂 )

Or, actually, thanks to being behind on the DVR, ‘Two Weeks Ago TV.’ The CSI/2.5 Men writer crossover? Eh. I can see how they must have all loved the read-through — definitely a lot of inside jokes. I think it would have been better if in the end they had played it a little more straight. Of everyone, I think Brass was the best. He’s always got that slightly amused look on his face, so having it there for this whole ep was natural. Grissom is usually like that, too, but for some reason it just didn’t work for me here. That said, I did like the ending — both Brass and Grissom were perfect in that scene (although, in a real ep they obviously would not have had the same outcome, so there was definitely some suspension of disbelief required). I also like the actress who played Banana #2; this was a better role for her than the perpetual annoying best friend in the perpetually annoying Notes from the Underbelly.

Without A Trace — yay, happy ending! I mean, if you can ignore the whole girlfriend and her son dying in a fire thing, of course. Normally this is not something I can ignore at all. In order to watch WaT, however, I always have to close off that part of me. Kind of a figurative sticking my fingers in my ears and saying, “Blah, blah, blah” at the top of my lungs.

I can’t remember what else I watched yesterday; those are the ones that stood out.

Right now I’m doing another 80s flashback, thanks to Anthony Michael Hall — The Dead Zone. Another show I’m not sure what happened to (and, frankly, don’t care enough about to waste the three minutes to find out). With some of these cable networks, I have no clue whatsoever as to what’s a current season, and what’s a rerun (or, to be even more complicated, what’s a rerun of a current season since they tend to replay them over and over again, sometimes within a week, sometimes within a season — hello, MI-5! ). I’m pretty sure that it was done as of last spring.

Hmph. This is an irritating one — Armageddon, Stilson, and the Reverend. Sigh. I may not make it through the whole episode. Except, well, there’s Walt. I do miss him. We’ll have to see.

And One More Thing
Alas, a casualty of the dinner/movie outing last night was the season finale of NCIS. We got the first 15 minutes, but it appears that settle down time intervened. The more annoying thing? I’m almost positive that the intervening show was American Idol. If only I’d known, I would have asked them to at least record that if we wouldn’t be getting anything else. Sigh. That will have to go on the punchlist of shows to catch in the rerun.

Oh, no, wait — there’s a much more annoying thing than that! Put this in the “Top Ten Reasons the DVR Pisses Me Off” category. Why was the DVR only allowing one show to be taped in the 8-9? When I tried to put American Idol in in the first place, it would only let me if I cancelled NCIS. I get it when it spills over into the 9 p.m. time frame (oh, how I hate the 8:00 – 9:02 stupid shows!), but this didn’t even do that. And it wasn’t like there was a second thing recording on another network. It just decided that it would have to cancel NCIS if it taped anything else. Isn’t that the whole point of the DVR? That you can tape two shows at once? It’s the one improvement over TiVo (the only, as far as I’m concerned) — so if it doesn’t work, then it’s pretty useless. Grrr.

Further Ramblings

Well, geez. No wonder I always feel like I don’t have the time to get everything done that I want to — this post took me nearly two hours to write. That’s a little discouraging, considering that it isn’t exactly Pulitzer-worthy. And, although it doesn’t pay the bills, that’s kind of what I like doing. Write. In order to post regularly here, I would have to take a substantial chunk out of my day. And that doesn’t include the time needed to help out my friend, Hux. (Different kind of friend than Esther. Also therapy in its own way, but I don’t have to pay Hux. 🙂 ) Right now my days don’t have that kind of time.

Speaking of categories, put that in the one called ‘Something To Think About’…

Yes, we are definitely going to be breaking this into more posts. Two hours doing one thing is getting me antsy. And my email hit 100% capacity at 4 in the morning, so there’s work to do there.