After not being able to check email since Sunday night, I finally logged on this afternoon around 5. Big mistake. I was, of course, over capacity. As I cleared out emails others arrived, each seemingly more urgent than the one before. And, of course, some of those emails were indicating that I now have meetings scheduled tomorrow at 9, at 10, at 11 AND 11:30, at 12:30, and at 2. Note, all of these are likely to run longer than an hour and therefore completely overlap. Also note, there isn’t actually time to breathe in there, much less eat, think, or do other necessary things to be even somewhat prepared for said meetings. Among those necessary things would be staying on top of email in order not to let it fill up again, but that will be a physical impossibility. And, of course, by the time I reach 3:30 and the end of the meetings, there will no doubt be other urgent things that must be dealt with which will preclude my being able to handle any of the less-than-urgent matters before they actually become so.

I would ordinarily try to deal with the excess at night, but that isn’t possible tomorrow as I have plans. Which, by the way, I would like to enjoy doing but am afraid I will just be overly stressed. With Thursday being equally booked up meeting-wise, I literally have about two hours on Thursday night to do regular maintenance things like, say, wash the now moldy dishes in the sink or put away laundry. Forget actually mentally or physically preparing for another two weeks (or maybe not, plans are still up in the air) away. Oh right, or actually, like, eating or having civil conversation.

I really tried to tell myself that I could just enjoy the way this summer is working out. Actually take advantage of some weeks away and, God forbid, relax.

O.k. I’m just trying to breathe right now. My heart is racing too much to even consider going to bed right now. Maybe I’ll try and clean out all of those ridiculously large PSF emails so that I can at least not worry about the inbox constantly filling.

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